(lyrics taken from Brand New)

I’m convinced that my cat is the antichrist. I always thought that the antichrist would be a lot more…human. But I was obviously wrong. My cat is growing at an alarming rate, and it destroys everything, yet everyone seems to love it because it’s so charming and cute. I feel as though these are definite traits that the antichrist would possess. Also, I left my computer to go pour myself some coffee the other day and my cat walked all over the keyboard and typed the following: 666. What more evidence do you need?

That being said. I am poor. So if anyone wants to see or pet the antichrist or scratch it behind the ears before it takes over the world I live on East Tompkins street and I’m charging $10 per every minute you spend with the antichrist. Contact me to schedule an appointment.

In other news. I made pumpkin seeds. Actually the boyfriend and I made pumpkin seeds. And a Jack-O’-Lantern. Okay so the Jack-O’-Lantern looks like it has some type of facial disease. But the pumpkin seeds were good. And the antichrist liked the pumpkin seeds too. I’m trying to decide if that is a good thing or a bad thing.  In fact, the antichrist seems to enjoy all my cooking. I do not know if this means that my cooking is really bad or really good. I don’t recall anything in the Bible mentioning whether or not the antichrist would be a good food critic.